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Bionicle- Nova Orbis- Mystery- Chapter 4 by NickinAmerica Bionicle- Nova Orbis- Mystery- Chapter 4 by NickinAmerica
So... I think these chapters are getting just a taaad too long. I'll try not to make the next chapter any longer.

As you can see, Ahkmou's sandmobile is exactly what it sounds like. A snowmobile that goes on sand, like the Cendox. I was originally going to put Chirox's super-long claws on the front, since, well, I've never been able to look at them without imagining them on snowmobile MOC... but sand is a bit different than snow, and those sorts of things would just make the whole contraption sink and stop. So I used those... whatever they are that appeared in some racers sets a while back. Also felt like making a seat for Ahkmou out of them.

And yes, this is the same place you see in my sig below. As you can imagine, it's a really important place in terms of the story, since this is where things really get going.

I had fun hinting at Ahkmou's dark ways throughout this chapter before he spilled his guts at the end. His reasoning for setting out like this is... almost beyond even me, to be honest. I guess after all of the horrible things he's done in the past because a certain someone lied to him in Metru Nui, being lied to like this is enough to give him a panic attack. He needs to clear things up, but not necessarily for the good of everyone at large. Rather, he just needs to find out the truth for himself, to make himself feel better so he can get through the day. He wants the truth so badly, apparently, that he'll charge into one of the most dangerous parts of the island to get it.

Sorry I didn't draw any illustrations for Calor's scenes, but we'll get to see what he's up to in the next chapter. This one mainly focused on Ahkmou, and then Mieli taking on a secondary role, and Calor last. The next chapter will focus on Calor in Onu-Wahi.

The "music" he hears when entering Onu-Wahi is another thing that should make the good ol' days come to mind. It sounds a lot like music from the MNOG, huh?

I had so much fun writing about Ga-Koro and the Ga-Matoran, and just showing how much their existence has changed. Inside Mata Nui's body, they had to spend most of their time working to keep him going. When they started slacking off, he became ill. This culminated with the Matoran Civil War, which nearly killed the great spirit.

Now, though, they are not confined to his body. They don't need to "work" to keep the world around them from crumbling away or shutting down. No longer are they the simple nanobots that the Great Beings describe them as. They still have JOBS, of course, but in the same manner we do, more of a livelihood, to keep their way of life going. They still have room for... play.

I especially enjoyed drawing the Ga-Matoran Mieli meets. I just have fun drawing big, strong girls as opposed to frail, weak ones or "moeblobs." For those who are wondering, her name is Imber. And no, she still isn't quite as tall as Trux. Also, the Bo-Matoran's name is Silva. We'll see more of these two as this story goes on.

Anyhow, lots of crazy things are going down! Some things we may not know the truth behind for a long while. The implications are unsettling, to say the least.

Anyway, that's it for now! I hope you guys have enjoyed this installment. Please continue to spread the word and let people know about this if you think they may enjoy it. I'll upload the next chapter in two weeks, as usual.

In the meantime, feedback is appreciated.


Beginning >> nickinamerica.deviantart.com/a…

Previous chapter >> nickinamerica.deviantart.com/a…

Full series >> nickinamerica.deviantart.com/g…
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:icondarkignika:
DARKIGNIKA Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
So is this part recent? 
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:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015
What do you mean?
Reply
:icondarkignika:
DARKIGNIKA Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Well after reading the four chapters needless to say u have hooked me on your story all I was wondering was that if that last chapter was put up recenty I just started to read this last night and finished this morning.
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:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015
Twnety-four chapters have been uploaded so far.
Reply
:icondarkignika:
DARKIGNIKA Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Ok thx when I didnt see a link to any "new" chapters when I read chapter 4 I figured that there wasnt any more so thank you for clearing that up
Reply
:iconburkeonthesly:
burkeonthesly Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2015
That was a nice way of defusing some of the tension in the climactic conversation, Ahkmou accidentally whistling out his nose.

Again, I think this could do with a reread and a bit of line editing. Phrases like, "The Bo-matoran gave him a bad look," are unhelpfully vague, but the heart of this story is solid, and you're building some strong intrigue now. The plot's gathering steam, and I want to see where it goes.
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:iconsilentphantomomega:
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGA Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2015
I could imagine a hippie going to one of Uira's concerts and shouts "PEACE!... Where's the fire?"
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:iconsilentphantomomega:
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGA Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2015
I want to live on Miro-Nui so bad! I mean Mata-Nui and Metru-Nui and all the other islands are cool and everything but they all had so much mystery and danger to them. This island has such welcoming people and an inviting atmosphere 
Reply
:iconflamewhirlwind176:
FlameWhirlwind176 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really like how you delve into each of these characters, aswell as the world around them. I really like how this has been handled so far :D
Reply
:iconbenjamindj99:
BenjaminDJ99 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014
I never read stories on DeviantArt, but I have fallen in LOVE with this one! Love Ahkmou's speech!
BTW, I've read the whole story so far today. Chapter 5 incoming!
Reply
:icontoaaerrow:
ToaAerrow Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014
That Bo-Matoran at the end almost looks like Yoda in armour!
Great Story! KUTGW!
(Keep Up The Good Work)
Reply
:iconorionide5:
Orionide5 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Wow... this story just keeps getting better. Aside from the awesome peek at the outside of the Living Fortress, I think the best part was Akhmou proving his "bad" side and pushing past the Bo-Matoran.
Reply
:iconjakest123:
jakest123 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahkmou is probably the best guy for this 'detective' job. He's done his fair share of lying, so he knows how these things work.
Reply
:icontoaofnight:
Toaofnight Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay, how did you do this?
Reply
:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
What do you mean? The story or the art?
Reply
:icontoaofnight:
Toaofnight Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
The art.
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:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
I drew it with pencils on paper, scanned it, then colored it with Photoshop.
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:icontoaofnight:
Toaofnight Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay, thanks.
Reply
:iconsaronicle:
Saronicle Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
dang, something's going down. :eager:
Reply
:iconmace3739:
Mace3739 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014
Loving this story! Can't wait to see where it goes!
Reply
:icontheicombaticon:
TheICombaticon Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Admittedly, all of the other people who've commented before me here have stated my thoughts in pretty much the way I'd say them, so I'll simply say: this started really cool and interesting, and it's STILL really cool and interesting. 
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:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Thanks.
Reply
:icontoalorikan626:
toalorikan626 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014
thats quite a twist... a matoran weever of lies and betrayal now seeks the truth at any cost
Reply
:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Couldn't have said it better, myself.
Reply
:icondcaldwell101:
dcaldwell101 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Student Artist
This is a pretty good story
Reply
:icontoaarcan:
ToaArcan Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I think Ahkmou is rapidly becoming a favourite of mine. You've made him such an interesting character, from what used to be a one-note traitor so one-note that he started working for Teridax again after 08. Now his age and experience are making him more interesting, by virtue of being one of the few Matoran who has half a clue that something is going badly wrong.

Honestly, I love how much of an early-Bionicle vibe this gives me. Ignition/2006-8 was my particular favourite, but I still loved the early mystery. We've got Ahkmou as a kind of darker Takua, mysterious animal attacks, a Matoran-centric worldview, something ulterior about the Turaga, and a villain who isn't just another six anti-Toa.

I'm also picking up a 2006 hint too, with the Toa apparently in peril, and a Matoran going looking for them.

And now, after we missed out on such a set in '08, I'm getting ideas of a Toa Ahkmou.
Reply
:iconnickinamerica:
NickinAmerica Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Well, he's quickly becoming my favorite character to write. :D And yeah, I'm glad to see I've succeeded in capturing that feel of the early years. Of course, as we learn more about the world, that feeling of mystery will inevitably go away... but it's gonna be a fun ride, nonetheless.
Reply
:icontoaarcan:
ToaArcan Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Cool.

It should be.

Also like the element of experience vs. blind faith.
Reply
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